Welcome to Under New Management, the news segment that brings you the hottest news on E-UNI’s rising stars!
The University saw the appointment of two new managers this week following the successful draining of all valuable resources from their predecessors. Hot scoops after the jump!
Perhaps the biggest concern for the average unista, Zraltori was given the responsibility of managing the University Mining Department, meaning a potential increase in mining operations and the war declarations that inevitably follow them.
“Zraltori has been a member of the Uni for several months, and has been active in supporting the uni the entire time. He has previously volunteered his time as an assistant mining manager, and has been active on the forums helping new students,” said E-UNI Director of Logistics Azmodeus Valar on why he had chosen Zraltori as the latest addition to his staff, “I am sure he will be a great addition to the Uni’s management team. As mining manager, he will oversee the mining loaner fleet, run mining ops, and help guide the Uni’s mining community.”
One University graduate, so panicked by the news, even recommended tying Zraltori up and locking him away before he could end the University’s short-lived peace following the recent conflict with The Last Crusade.
The University now prepares itself as it awaits the first announcement from Zraltori and the terrible consequences that may follow.
Elsewhere in the University, long-standing and popular Recruitment Manager Rain Coehati announced her plans to step down, upsetting everybody. “I’m really sad to be stepping down,” she said, “I have enjoyed working with and getting to know everyone on my team. I haven’t decided on my next step, so I’ll be around for a while anyways. The Uni isn’t getting rid of me completely yet.”
It fell to me, Director of Personnel Darian Reymont, to select a replacement. After speaking with Rain and much deliberation, I chose Ishii Turq and had the following to say in front of an auditorium packed with my adoring fans:
“Ishii has foolishly agreed to take on the role of recruitment manager, meaning he will now be responsible for any problems that arise within the department, whilst I happily claim all the credit for anything he does right. Let us all congratulate Ishii on his promotion, and wish him luck in his new position!”
That’s all from Under New Management this week, though the cyclic nature of University management means it will surely not be the end of this fine, fine news segment. Good night, unistas, and remember:
Don’t have nightmares.