A Uni Night Before Xmas

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through CBT
Kyrlin was raving ready to murder with glee
It was wartime for the Uni, some students didn’t care,
The rules and SOP they thought didn’t seem fair.

Plenty of warnings they heard, but nay did they dread,
Visions of mining and missions danced in their heads.
Bounties and ore, salvage and scrap,
Hitting F10 they brought up their map.

When out in Aldrat there arose such a clatter,
Uber sprang from a cyno, student’s corpses went splatter.
Nukes being fired everyone turning to ash
Never once questioning if his actions were rash.

As the corpses piled up and blood continued to flow
Where was Admiral Smurfprime, no one did know.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
A Revelation piloted by Silentbrick was near.

With an ornery old pilot deftly handling the stick,
And everyone claiming that Kyrlin was a prick.
Faster than inty’s to all of them death surely came,
As Uber whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

“Now Darian! now, Bladeheart! now, Dierdra and Kaein!
On, Azmodeus! On, Neville!, on Irdalth and Rain!
To the top of the killboards! to the top of the text wall!
Now pod away! Pod away! Pod away them all!”

As always in Uni the complaints continued to fly,
Accusing Kyrlin of wrong doing “He set me up!” they would cry.
So up to the top necroed forum posts flew,
The calls to ban Kyrlin continuously grew.

And then, in an instant, the complaints went poof
The war-decs were dropped the complainers aloof.
As the lockdown lifted and no wartargets to be found,
Out of a wormhole Kelduum came without a sound.

He came bearing gifts anonymous benefactors afoot
Dropping new ships where Uber left soot.
Bundles of items filled the hangars by the stack
He was better than Santa with all the mods to unpack

His eyes didn’t twinkle, he was no dimpled fairy
In fact quite the opposite, to some he was scary
Dark Lord of the Sith most all did know
Students questioned the gifts that he had in tow

The rule breakers their corpse they did bequeath,
Uber’s minions will flock, tearing them apart with their teeth.
I couldn’t help but wonder how many lay slain
Voicing complaints with nothing to gain

The banning of Kyrlin this Christmas will not be our gift
He will continue to oppress widening the rift
All should be happy that he keeps us safe
Even if his methods begin to chafe

Volunteers are they, the directors and such
Often overlooked that they give us so much
So the next time you complain or necro a topic
Consider those whose lives are philanthropic

Take what is given, do so without complaint
Use the resources, and exercise some constraint.
When trolling and disagreement is at the top of your list
Do yourself and the Uni a favor, do not persist

Remember these words on this wonderful Christmas Eve
Be grateful for what is given, you are always free to leave
If you listen you may hear Kyrlin exclaim,
“Keep breaking the rules, I love the unfair game!”

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